But why, why would we follow our Heart? Unless... Its not really our Heart we are following. In my first introductory blog, I mentioned that I am not the smartest when it comes to the text of the Bible. But I do believe, I do feel, I do have Faith. And I believe that who we are on the outside and who we are on the inside - are two totally different things. Our Earthly bodies are like 'tour guides' as I like to say. However, it chooses to guide towards the negative. Inside this 'tour guide' is not our Heart to be following; but our Soul. I believe that right there - in the middle of our chest, protected by our sternum- is our Soul. Our true being. Who we really are.
Have you ever looked into a mirror and thought - "Wow, is that really me?" Our Soul looks different; much different, from our bodies. It is not until we are on our journey towards death that we will truly see what our souls may look like. And our bodies are like temples - holding the Goodness of God - our Souls.
Often - we lose ourselves.
We get so pulled into these 'tour guides' that we are surrounded by the worldliness of this place. We are pulled towards negativity. It is finding our soul and following it that will keep us reaching towards the goodness that is God.
This summer, I was in a bad place. Not my surroundings, but things that were happening just pulled me out of who I really was.That is- until I started going to a Church with a woman I consider my Mom. I had long conversations with the Lord at night and often - i was told things I never would have thought about without His help. One night especially, I was lying there wondering about the usual things I ponder upon and found myself laying on my back, my right hand over my eyes and part of my forehead - and my left hand had two fingers pushing into my sternum.
I was being mentally pulled into my body... and there - I found a white light of pure goodness. My Soul - filled with the Holy Spirit. I was scared. I saw my legs and arms as dark tunnels and my brain as a worldly tool. I became this white light. I was engulfed in the pure power of goodness that it was. That I was. I knew we as people were good, and children of God.. but I never knew it was to this extent.
Only until that moment did I notice how caught up in the motions I had become. I had 'believed' in the Lord. But did I have Faith? I was stuck in the worldliness that we all get pulled into on a daily basis. I was not about to let that happen again. I pushed with all of my mental might - the bright light of goodness - through my entire body. I could feel that my body was now destined to work for goodness. No longer was the true me being pulled around by a 'tour guide'. Now, the 'tour guide' was working for me - as I inquired, as I decided, as I pushed to do the Good that is God's will.
It was like my body had pulled my soul into it and made me whole - worldly... a different kind of whole, a mixture of soul and body- where my body had control... and then I felt the separation. I felt two different things. I felt my soul, and my body. But now- instead of my body controlling my soul and simply walking me through the motions, it was my soul making the decisions.
But in that time of finding two separate things and making them into one Glory for God - I was frightened. I felt like my soul was going to rip from my body and be flung; too soon toward Heavens gates. I continuously had to tell myself, whispering quietly: "My Soul Is In My Body, Do Not Leave. I Am Here." I was so scarred that I would mess up. My heart was pumping like it soon would simply stop. Without a soul, bodies cannot survive.. and without a body - souls cannot be here on this worldly earth.
I saw the separation, I saw the true Goodness within me. I steadied myself and somehow without interfering between the domination of my soul over my body - I came back to this world and returned to my conversation with the Lord. He taught me so much that night. About Faith and what it means to truly follow your Soul.
It's not as simple as making the decision that seems the best. Its much deeper than that. Its truly looking within yourself to see the Goodness that the Lord has put inside of you, to see your Soul- that should be guiding your body. Not your body guiding the goodness. Because when you get caught in the worldliness here - it is not goodness you are following, nor goodness you will head towards- because your body does not bring you towards the goodness, it will only bring you towards the negativity that this world has to offer with the Goodness of your Soul unknowingly caught in the middle - unable to be present.. If you indeed let your body guide you, you may be going through the motions - but you are not truly following your Soul. A Soul made by God - for Good.
Follow your Soul.
